I wrote this for Myself
Lessons From Morning Walks
3/10/2026
Growing up in Santa Barbara, pretending to be a mermaid was my favorite weekend pass time.
Finding shells, seaglass, and the occasional rare sand dollar, wrapping them around an elaborate drip castle and jumping in the water with my ankles pressed together so that I flopped down like the scene in Aquamarine.
I can’t believe I was so content to let that all go…
I thought about him today.
I thought about a time when I thought he was encouraging me to follow my passion in my career; a time when I thought he was the best thing that could happen to me. I thought about missing him… but then I thought better of it. The encouragement was bare minimum. It wasn’t real. Most of it was in my head.
I’m thinking about my faith now. The faith he didn’t give me, the faith I chose for myself. I have faith in my art because I know that God has gifted it to me. My art is not attached to my purpose, but it is served like a side of fries with my purpose. My faith eats it up and allows me to believe that both are real, both are valuable, and both are entirely unique and beyond comparison. My art and purpose are not attached to a style, place, relationship, or job; They are attached to my soul. Only I can create it, and have the unique effect I do because God created my soul for that reason.
Speaking of faith, I asked God on my beach walk if he was able to bring me a best friend to love, a career to grow and a life of purpose. I was challenging Him because that's what I do as a strong-willed middle child.
I said, “there’s no way you could bring me a man that loves surfing, ranch life, and encourages my art, and wants to raise a family in church, and thinks im hot (and I think he’s hot) and gets along with my family, and there’s no way my art will be everything I hope it will be, and there’s not a chance that my family and life will be as cool as the one my parents have.”
And as I finished telling the creator of the universe all the things he couldn’t do for me, I looked 5 feet ahead and saw a sand dollar. Personally I have never casually found a sand dollar in Santa Barbara, so naturally I was SHOOK, and EXCITED. I checked that it was dead and brushed the cold sand from its rough curved face. What are the chances I find the rarest mermaid treasure when I’m not even looking for it? I looked out at the ocean as I started to walk forward again and I heard God say “look there”. I looked down not even 3 steps past my last treasure lay another sand dollar! Partially covered by the water I scooped it into my hand as my jaw dropped. Stunned by the fact that I was now a Forbes 50 under 50 mermaid, I turned it in my hand as I realized I had just found two perfectly unchipped and ready to go sand dollars when I wasn’t looking for them. “Are you messing with me?” I asked God.
“I will do more for you than you could possibly imagine, and I will do it when you least expect it.” He replied.
Moved almost to tears by the fact that He heard my challenge and he responded in a way that only I would understand, I kept walking my usual route down the breakwater and back. I was holding my sand dollars lightly in my hands so that I wouldn't crush them, turning them over and still amazed by the fact that they were mine, when I heard a seagull squawk a ways ahead. I looked up from my hands and stopped in my tracks as my hands fell to my sides and I stood there stunned. ANOTHER SANDDOLLAR.
“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
Ephesians 3:20-21
That verse flashed in my mind and I stood there staring at that little sand dollar with my feet planted in the wet sand, a few slow tears of joy finding their way down my cheeks.
I left my house that day feeling so alone and unseen by God, and when I took the time to talk to him about it, he took the time to respond. (maybe you don’t hear from God because you never call him).
“A best friend to love, a career to grow, and a life of purpose.” That’s the list of “I bet you can’t”s I gave him.
He replied with “yes I will, yes I do, and yes I am.”
I creeped up to the sand dollar cautiously, I didn’t want it to disappear. I picked it up and my heart sank a bit as I realized it was still alive, I’d have to throw it back to the ocean.
Three sand dollars. And this is the truest test of faith. As an adult I know that sand dollars are actually more common than I thought as a child. I also know that for some reason, they’re not considered a real form of currency eye roll But on that walk, I felt like the little girl playing mermaids with her friend on a Sunday afternoon. There’s a reason why God asks us to have the faith of a child, because innocent children are not limited by lies and disbelief.
I knew at that moment that those sand dollars were promises from God. Promises that he is capable of “exceedingly abundantly above all that I ask or think”(Ephesians 3:20-21). Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen(Hebrews 11). If I walked away from that morning on the beach and explained away finding three sand dollars(when I wasn’t looking for them) at the exact moment I challenged God, then my faith would die. Faith might seem delusional to you if you believe the lie that God is not involved in the natural world. The truth of the bible is that God is an everpresent friend(Psalm 46:1), and the creator of the universe(Genesis 1), by definition he is both deeply involved in the natural world, and in your personal life. Not in a way that implies he will step in and override your free will(Joshua 24:15), but in the way that a best friend shows up for you when you need them, or how the forest of Yosemite is just waiting for you to explore it.
So maybe the lesson wasn’t about sand dollars at all. Instead, it was about remembering the little girl who believed treasure could wash up right at her feet. The girl who didn’t question wonder, who didn’t explain away joy, and who believed that beautiful things could appear when she wasn’t even looking for them.
Somewhere along the way we trade that kind of faith for logic and disappointment. We convince ourselves that God probably won’t, that life probably can’t, that the things we hope for are a little too specific, a little too good, a little too impossible.
But that morning on the beach reminded me of something simple.
God isn’t intimidated by my doubts, my challenges, or my “I bet You can’t.”
If anything, He seems to enjoy proving that my limits are not His.
Three sand dollars later, I walked home realizing that maybe the things I’m hoping for, aren’t unrealistic dreams after all, maybe they’re just treasures I haven’t stumbled upon yet. Maybe God is simply waiting for the right moment to say,
“Look there.”